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Download You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again: One Woman's Painfully Funny Quest to Give It Up Audiobook

Extended Audio Sample Youll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again: One Womans Painfully Funny Quest to Give It Up Audiobook, by Heather McDonald
3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 3.00 (1,472 ratings) (rate this audio book) Author: Heather McDonald Narrator: Heather McDonald Publisher: Brilliance Audio Format: Abridged Audiobook Delivery: Instant Download Audio Length: Release Date: October 2011 ISBN:
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You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again is the laugh-out-loud story of an attractive Los Angeles woman who found herself in the predicament of being an unwilling virgin.

As an actress, writer, and stand-up comedienne, Heather McDonald passed up ample opportunities to have her V-card revoked by handsome, rich, and sometimes even fabulously famous men, but she could not bring herself to do it until well after her friends had been deflowered. As Chelsea Handler so lovingly puts it, Thank God, Heather waited 27 years to lose her virginity or she wouldn't have any material for this book.

Whether in a backseat, a community pool, or a sports stadium, with a frat boy, a doctor, or an A-list celebrity, Heather McDonald knew how to turn those boys blue. Unlike putting out, blue balling might not have paid her rent or landed her free trips to Hawaii, but it did provide her with hilarious stories and adventures in her search for true love - and, ultimately, her very own happy ending. Now, Heather McDonald will never blue ball in this town again.

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Listener Opinions

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Karen Wherlock | 2/19/2014

    " I love a memoir, especially an amusing one. I admit, I picked it up because of the provocative title, but it is really the story of the author growing up, getting her education, finding her true calling, and eventually, finding love. It is not great literature by any stretch of the imagination, but if you want a book to read by the fire on a Sunday afternoon that will make you laugh, then this is a good choice. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Jennifer | 2/1/2014

    " fun read. trials and tribulations of dating and being a virgin. "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Ashley | 1/28/2014

    " While I thought some parts of this book were funny, most parts I just found to be lacking the humor that the first two Chelsea Handler books had. I ended up bringing this back not even halfway into it. "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Denise Doyle | 1/19/2014

    " Not one of my favorites. She's not as funny as she thinks she is. "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Marisa | 1/18/2014

    " It was a fun read at times. Way to self indulgent at times and overconfidence I don't think she deserves to have because she ain't that cute to begin with. Chelsea Handler is funnier than Heather McDonald. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Jessica | 1/9/2014

    " Not my proudest read, but boy is she funny!!!! :) "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Holly | 12/24/2013

    " This book's only redeeming quality is that my sweetheart is reading it to me. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Kerri Ann | 12/7/2013

    " I loved it....although it started out slow, it picked up. Heather recalls a great story. Her sarcasm and wit are pretty endearing. I'm just coming of Mindy Kaling's new book, so I'm in the memoir mode...so this was great. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Abby Land | 11/30/2013

    " Quick read. Not fabulous, but not bad either. It would be a good mindless beach read. "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Matthew | 11/2/2013

    " Disappointing. Not very funny and full of run-on rambling sentences. I love Heather McDonald, but hate her book. Sorry boo. :( "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Steve | 9/17/2013

    " I'm giving this three stars as there were many points of the book that were hilarious but other parts were a little flat. I've watched her on Chelsea Handler for a few years now and think she is incredibly funny. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Greg | 8/15/2013

    " Written by a friend of mine from college - funny stuff! "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Edwinajones | 8/1/2013

    " It's not life changing but I don't think a book with "blue balls" in the title is necessarily supposed to be... "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Nik | 7/14/2013

    " I thought this would be a funny book to read. Turns out Heather is much more shallow than funny. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Stefanie | 6/22/2013

    " This book had several horrible reviews which initially turned me off. However, I thought the book was pretty funny. I liked it and am not sad I read it. "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Ana | 3/8/2013

    " I was expecting a super funny read since I absolutely love Heather on Chelsea Lately, but this book was a total let down. It was slow moving and had too many unnecessary details. I was expecting something way funnier "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Erin May | 2/26/2013

    " After reading a few heavy books I wanted something light and funny. Mainly about the author/comedian's dating relationships before meeting her husband. There were some funny parts. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Kristin | 11/29/2012

    " Very funny....good beach book or train "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Brittany | 11/1/2012

    " Heather McDonald is a hilarious comedian, but this book wasn't as funny as I thought it would be. Although some parts were great, I didn't really find it that interesting. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Gina | 7/1/2012

    " This book had me laughing out loud often and I found myself relating to some of the situations, saying "I've done that!" "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Robin | 4/24/2012

    " cute book. not hilariously laugh out loud funny, but was amusing. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Emily Steinmetz | 3/7/2012

    " This was ok. It gets a little repetative. I know she was in a sorority. I get it. But she mentions is in every.single.chapter. It did have some funny parts, and I love me some long boobs, so it was worth a little tub reading. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Annie | 2/22/2012

    " Not as fun as Chelsea Handler but a good beach read "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Courtney | 9/21/2011

    " If you want to read a lot about dry humping this book is for you! If you want a good laugh, move on. I had high hopes for this book and it was a let down. Her real life is not as funny as she thinks it is...some humor is in it, yes. Would I recommend it...NO! "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Esther Santos | 7/22/2011

    " Easy read. It was laugh out loud funny! I highly recommend. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Kristen Kiss | 7/15/2011

    " Perfect for any former sorority girl!! "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Rachel | 7/14/2011

    " I couldnt not wait to read this book.

    Too bad it sucked. Not funny at all.... "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Kammy | 7/13/2011

    " Well if you don't like very vulgar frank language this isn't the book for you that's for sure.. i picked it up laughing at the back...i didn't really know what i was getting into but it was very funny in a very out there way... not the norm for me but i did enjoy it..lol "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Charlotte | 7/9/2011

    " Thought this would fill my Chelsea Handler void but it didn't. I found the book really slow going and annoyed at how annoying Heather was! "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Rachel | 7/4/2011

    " Thought this book was going to be hilarious and I got through it without finding a single part that I would consider so. Very slow moving. Not really funny at all....just not that great. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Carly | 6/28/2011

    " Heather McDonald from Chelsea Latley. Comedic stories about her quests and failures to loose her virginity. Very enjoyable read, if you like Chelsea Handler's books you will like this! "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Ashley | 5/13/2011

    " Hilarious. Can't wait to see her on the Chelsea tour! "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Marisa | 5/3/2011

    " It was a fun read at times. Way to self indulgent at times and overconfidence I don't think she deserves to have because she ain't that cute to begin with. Chelsea Handler is funnier than Heather McDonald. "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Karen | 4/27/2011

    " While some of the stories were hysterically funny, I had a really hard time jumping into this book.

    In many of the short stories, McDonald simply came across as shallow. I can usually finish a book of this nature in a day or two. This one took me over a month. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Kristen | 4/25/2011

    " Perfect for any former sorority girl!! "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Jennifer | 4/19/2011

    " fun read. trials and tribulations of dating and being a virgin. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Stephanie | 4/18/2011

    " Ok, so it's not The Help but it was a funny, fun read that kept me laughing the whole way through. I really enjoyed it and recommend it for anyone looking for a light read. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Greg | 4/13/2011

    " Written by a friend of mine from college - funny stuff! "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Kristen | 3/30/2011

    " Apparently she was raised with the same teachings about sex that I was... "

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About the Author

Heather McDonald is a full-time writer, performer, and story producer on E! Channel’s top rated show: Chelsea Lately, and stars in the show’s spin-off, After Lately. Heather has been married to Peter for twelve years, with whom she has two sons and a stepdaughter. They reside in the San Fernando Valley.