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Download Sh-t My Dad Says Audiobook (Unabridged)

Extended Audio Sample Sh-t My Dad Says (Unabridged), by Justin Halpern
3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 3.00 (46,449 ratings) (rate this audio book) Author: Justin Halpern Narrator: Sean Schemmel Publisher: HarperAudio Format: Unabridged Audiobook Delivery: Instant Download Audio Length: Release Date:
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After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair, has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:

That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them.

Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.

The worst thing you can be is a liar...Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two.

More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes.

An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh-t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

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Listener Opinions

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 by Arjun Nijhawan | 2/14/2014

    " Worth buying! I laughed at every single page. There is no place in this book where you don't laugh, its that hilarious. Full of funny family tales that i'm sure anyone can relate to in some way. Its always nice to hear the funny musings and perspectives of Justin's Dad. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 by Runako Jinks | 2/13/2014

    " This book is often laugh out loud funny. I tore through this book because it kept me thoroughly entertained. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 by Rui Andrade | 2/11/2014

    " The book is great because it presents, in a distinct way, many different and funny stories. Got some laughs out of it. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 by Allison | 2/6/2014

    " Easy read. It took me less than a day to finish. Some of the things this guys says had me laughing out loud. "

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About the Author
Author Justin Halpern

Justin Halpern created a Twitter account as a way to archive his father’s no-holds-barred, expletive-ridden words of wisdom in the summer of 2009. Within a month, @shitmydadsays became an Internet sensation. More than 2.5 million people currently follow Sam Halpern’s musings on Twitter and Facebook alone. Justin’s first book, Sh*t My Dad Says, a collection of essays about growing up with his unapologetically honest father, is a #1 New York Times bestseller. Justin is also the creator of $#*! My Dad Says, a sitcom starring William Shatner, Nicole Sullivan, Will Sasso, and Jonathan Sadowski. He serves as the show’s coexecutive producer along with his writing partner Patrick Schumacker. Justin currently splits his time between Los Angeles and his parents’ home in San Diego.