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Extended Audio Sample Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough, by Lori Gottlieb Click for printable size audiobook cover
3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 3.00 (815 ratings) (rate this audio book) Author: Lori Gottlieb Narrator: Mia Barron Publisher: HarperCollins Format: Unabridged Audiobook Delivery: Instant Download Audio Length: Release Date:
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You have a fulfilling job, a great group of friends, the perfect apartment, and no shortage of dates. So what if you haven't found The One just yet. Surely he'll come along, right?

But what if he doesn't? Or even worse, what if he already has, but you just didn't realize it?

Suddenly finding herself forty and single, Lori Gottlieb said the unthinkable in her March 2008 article in The Atlantic: Maybe she and single women everywhere, needed to stop chasing the elusive Prince Charming and instead go for Mr. Good Enough.

Looking at her friends' happy marriages to good enough guys who happen to be excellent husbands and fathers, Gottlieb declared it time to reevaluate what we really need in a partner. Her ideas created a firestorm of controversy from outlets like the Today show to The Washington Post, which wrote, "Given the perennial shortage of perfect men, Gottlieb's probably got a point," to Newsweek and NPR, which declared, "Lori Gottlieb didn't want to take her mother's advice to be less picky, but now that she's turned forty, she wonders if her mother is right." Women all over the world were talking. But while many people agreed that they should have more realistic expectations, what did that actually mean out in the real world, where Gottlieb and women like her were inexorably drawn to their "type"?

That's where Marry Him comes in.

By looking at everything from culture to biology, in Marry Him Gottlieb frankly explores the dilemma that so many women today seem to face--how to reconcile the strong desire for a husband and family with a list of must-haves so long and complicated that many great guys get rejected out of the gate. Here Gottlieb shares her own journey in the quest for romantic fulfillment, and in the process gets wise guidance and surprising insights from marital researchers, matchmakers, dating coaches, behavioral economists, neuropsychologists, sociologists, couples therapists, divorce lawyers, and clergy--as well as single and married men and women, ranging in age from their twenties to their sixties.

Marry Him is an eye-opening, often funny, sometimes painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of the modern dating landscape, and ultimately, a provocative wake-up call about getting real about Mr. Right.

Download and start listening now!


Quotes & Awards

  • “I have been very happily married for many years, and if my daughters ever ask me for advice about potential spouses, I plan to pass off a lot of what’s in this book as my own sage wisdom.”

    Kurt Anderson, New York Times bestselling author of Heyday

  • “By telling you to read Lori Gottlieb’s incisive and insightful book, I hope I can make up for all the unrealistic romantic propaganda I had a hand in spreading as a former editor at a glossy women’s magazine. For anyone who is single but looking, the surprising truths in Marry Him go against just about everything we’ve been brought up to believe about dating and marriage.” 

    Megan McCafferty, New York Times bestselling author of the Jessica Darling series

  • “Engaging, hilarious, brutally honest, and eye-opening! Marry Him is an encouraging story about finding love by getting real.”

    Rachel Greenwald, New York Times bestselling author of Find a Husband After 35 

  • Marry Him is a treasure. A must-read on getting the male and female brain together in almost perfect harmony.” 

    Louann Brizendine, New York Times bestselling author of The Female Brain

  • “What Gottlieb is saying isn’t subversive—it’s smart. A thoroughly entertaining reality check.”

    Diablo Cody, Academy Award–winning screenwriter of Juno 

  • “An unexpected delight. Honest and darkly comic...the truth can be liberating.”

    New York Times

  • “A provocative pop culture treatise...she encourages us to think through our own beliefs and unexamined assumptions." 

    Chicago Tribune

  • Marry Him is a frank and funny read, weaving real people’s stories with Gottlieb’s own experiences.”

    New York Observer

  • “This impeccably researched tome is mandatory reading.”

    Huffington Post

  • “Funny and relatable...anything but anti-romance.”


  • Marry Him is surprisingly, unnervingly convincing.”

    O, The Oprah Magazine

  • “It was a humbling experience to read Marry Him, but I’m so glad I did.” 


  • “A well-conceived and convincing argument on how to find a more realistic Mr. Right. If you've ever sought your own Prince Charming, your love life will never be the same again. And that’s a good thing.” 

    Christian Science Monitor

  • “A sensible plea to discard the toxic fantasy of romantic comedies and think realistically about what makes a solid partnership.”


  • “The advice doled out also makes good sense, and Gottlieb is personable and appealing.”

    Publishers Weekly

  • “Gottlieb’s honest, astute analysis will resonate with many women and make them uneasy as they recognize themselves in her experiences and those of the women she interviews. Gottlieb makes a strong case in this groundbreaking work.”  

    Booklist (starred review)

  • “A funny cautionary tale of one woman’s journey through the modern landscape of dating.

    Library Journal

  • A New York Times Bestseller
  • A New York Times Editor’s Choice

Listener Opinions

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 by Nicole | 2/16/2014

    " This is a must-read for every woman in their 20s and beyond, whether they are single, in a relationship, engaged, or married. While it can sometimes be hard to stomach, this is the sage advice of a woman who's been there. It may hurt you in your feminist heart a little or seem pathetic at times (I need a man, wah!) - but it's good to strip away those illusions of "some day my prince will come" and feel less guilty about wanting the whole marriage/white-picket fence fantasy without actually knowing why. It's a self-aware masterpiece that really questions what marriage is fundamentally about - and it's nothing like a Disney princess movie, but it's not horrible either. So many of us have been in dead-end relationships, hoping he'll change or have had doubts about someone we love, thinking the grass is greener on the other side. As my wise co-worker told me recently, maybe you are on the side with the greener grass. This book confirms it for me! Whether you agree with it or not, it really makes you think! Highly recommended. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 by Carly Thompson | 2/7/2014

    " Despite the somewhat provocative title, this book offers advice for both men and women (although it is definitely geared toward white upper middle class women). Boiled down, the premise is don't be overly judgmental about romantic partners. Marriage is about compromise and acceptance, the dashing Heathcliff of your fantasies isn't the guy who will get up in the middle of the night to comfort a crying baby. The author (and many of her female friends) have the problem of dumping nice guys who aren't exciting enough or pursuing guys who aren't interested in family life, which has left them single and alone in the early 40s with diminishing prospects. Gottlieb tries to change her behavior and open herself up to dating different types of men (no more turning down guys who aren't tall). There is some good stuff in there about looking for people with the same values not all of the same interests and realizing that marriage won't satisfy all of your needs. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 by Cheryl | 2/6/2014

    " This book really had me look at myself in a different light. I am superficial when it comes to what I look for in a mate and have discounted some guys on some pretty shallow reasons, just like the ladies in the book that are still single and searching for love. We are searching for this ideal person who is not real. I need to take some of the 'must have' items off of my list and see what kind of relationship I can foster on character instead of looks or material things. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 by Elise Ayeh | 2/1/2014

    " I like this book because it goes against modern dating advice to women (as found in He's Just Not That Into You) and uses research and evidence to reinforce her approach to finding someone to marry. It totally changes my mindset on what to consider when dating someone. I can't testify as to it's accuracy yet, but I can't wait to try it! "

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About the Author
Author Lori Gottlieb

Lori Gottlieb is a New York Times bestselling author whose first book, Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self, was an American Library Association “Best Books 2001” selection. She has also authored and coauthored several other books, including I Love You, Nice to Meet You and Inside the Cult of Kibu. Her radio commentaries can be heard on National Public Radio and her journalism has been published in the New York Times, the Atlantic, Time, People, Elle, Self, Slate, and Glamour.